


Walls and Screens

by CalsLaundry



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 20:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalsLaundry/pseuds/CalsLaundry
Summary: -You find courage seeping into your veins.“Thank you for a wonderful day, Gabriel.”He smiles, and cautiously takes your hand. With a glance that looks for permission, and your nod in return, he kisses your knuckles.“I would be glad for a million more of them.”-





	Walls and Screens

The room is an ever turning reel of colours and sounds and lights, your focus can’t land. It’s all a little too much. You agreed to come here because your friend wanted you around, but she’s nowhere to be seen.  
“Mingle, have fun, everyone is nice!” She had said, but the dread is a growing lead ball in your stomach. Talking to people is daunting on its own, but here, surrounded by beautiful people, extroverts that you can’t quite get a grasp on, it’s too much. You check your phone; it’s not even 10. You’ve only been here an hour, it’s too early to go home but your body’s on the highest alert. At least with so many people, you can slip out easily.

“Excuse me.”

Your escape plan must have been noticed. You look toward the voices owner and escape suddenly isn’t that appealing. He’s tall-definitely six foot or a little over- and the embodiment of tall, dark, and handsome. His brows are thick and his nose is strong and his facial hair is neat and...you just can’t take your eyes off of him.

“You okay?”

You realise after a moment that you’re staring.

“Oh uh, yeah! Sorry, just a little...much in here is all.”

“Do you need to step out?”

There’s a look of genuine concern on his face. An anxious part of you says you shouldn’t step outside with a stranger but the other anxious part is much stronger, especially when the room is as loud as it is. You nod, and he holds your hand gently as he leads you through the crowd. The groups part to let him through. You’re so much shorter that you stare at the middle of his back, but knowing he can move people with such ease brings you comfort. The moment you step out on the balcony, however, you pull your hand from his. He glances at you as if a little insulted, but you lean against the railing and he looks relieved instead.

“I’m sorry if holding your hand upset you, I didn’t mean to give the wrong impression.”

A hot blush of embarrassment runs up your neck and ears and into your cheeks.

“No, no! Not at all! I’m just uh…” Your stomach churns at the thought of being so honest with a stranger, but you don’t want to insult him.

“I just don’t really like touching? It feels a little...uncomfortable. Sorry. What you did was fine! I just wasn’t expecting it, but it did help get through the crowds and stuff, and I am so grateful for you helping me get out of there, sorry I seem so ungrateful.” 

You look away, eager to shrink away to nothing just to get away from his gaze.

“There’s no need to apologise.”

You look at him again.

“You shouldn’t apologise for boundaries, especially when they’re only to keep you comfortable and safe.”

You’re stunned to silence. No one has ever welcomed your boundaries and it spreads warmth through you.

“From here on, I’ll let you dictate any contact, sound okay?”

You nod, and immediately hold out your hand and offer your name.

“Gabriel.” His hand is warm and you’re surprised by how little you want to let go, but you do.

“So, who’s foolish enough to abandon such a pretty thing?”

You laugh off the compliment.

“I came with a friend, she’s still inside somewhere, she’s just a little more...social.”

“No offense to you or your friend, but it doesn’t seem like this would be your thing.”

“It’s not,” you confess, “but you can only refuse plans so many times before they think you hate them.” You don’t know why you’re admitting this to a stranger, but he’s a comforting one.

“Yeah, not a lot of people understand wanting to spend time alone or at least in a quiet space.”

A few beats of silence pass but they’re not awkward.

“It’s the ideal date though.” He breaks the silence and you look at him with inquisition in your features.

“To be able to be quiet with someone, y’know?” He leans against a wall, and folds his arms over his chest. You wonder for a moment if this is a delicate thing for him to discuss.

“If you can be quiet with someone, you can do anything with them.”   
You nod.

“I agree. It’s underrated, but being able to relax with someone and just be in the same space means a lot more than any date could.”

“Does that mean you’re single then?” He’s lips are turned up in the slightest smirk, and you find yourself blushing again.

“Yes, I am.”

“I’m guessing you don’t like traditional dates, but what if I come up with something...introvert friendly?”

“You barely know me.” 

It slips out faster than you can stop it, but Gabriel doesn’t seem upset by it.

“I want to know you better.”

Stiff fear settles in your stomach but you ignore it.

“Okay.”

“Really?” 

For a man who was so cool a moment ago, Gabriel looks almost like a puppy when he’s excited, and you laugh at just how cute he can be.

“Yes, you seem like fun. Really.”

“Well then.” He looks a little proud of himself but still delighted.

Another moment of silence passes, and you look at him only to find him looking right back with a smile of pure fondness. You match it with a tingle of affection rising through your chest. You turn and lean on the railing with your elbows as you look out over the city. The sky mirrors the city lights twinkling, or does the city mirror the sky, and you wonder this. You breathe in the night air and let the clouds of your breath float out, as if there’s some hope of that giving answer to your hypothesis. You hear Gabriel move and it’s only a moment before he’s beside you, copying the way you lean on the railing, looking out as if to find what you’ve found. There’s a spark in the inch he’s left between you. It sizzles but pleasantly, more like a shower than electricity.

“I hope I’m not too close.” You know he means it.

“No.” You mean it too.

**********

Gabriel texts you the following morning. It’s just a short “good morning”, but he’s happy to continue it. Throughout the day, you receive message after message, and you’re comfortable. You end the day with a goodnight to him, but the moment you lay your phone down, it buzzes with a call. From Gabriel.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“You know, when people say ‘goodnight’, they don’t usually expect calls.” 

You laugh through your comment, and he laughs too.

“I know, I know, but I have to ask you something, and I think you’d have preferred a text but I was too nervous to text it.”

“Okay…” Anxiety immediately swirls in your stomach.

“Well,” he takes a breath, “remember that date I mentioned?”

“Yes.” 

“I had an idea, and uh, would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Yes, I would.”

Your stomach flips but you don’t give him a chance to speak yet.

“Am I allowed to ask what it is?”

“Not yet, I would love to surprise you, if I can. I swear, it’s something relaxed and if you’re unhappy or uncomfortable at any time, we can part ways and call it a failed effort.”

You swear you can hear how much he doesn’t want this to be a failed effort.

“Yes, that sounds good.” Your nerves are already playing up, and you curl a little into your covers.

“Are you nervous?”

You laugh, “Is it that obvious?”

He laughs too, “Just a guess. But if it helps, we can make it sooner rather than later.”

You consider it. You don’t want to seem overeager, you don’t want to assume his feelings are strong, you don’t want to put him off, and the list goes on and on in your head, but Gabriel waits.

“Uh, yes. Sooner would be good.”

“Day after tomorrow?”

You nod, that seems fair.

“Yes, that sounds good.”

“You know if you need to change anything, you can let me know.”

“Yes, thank you,” you lick your lips before you continue, “you’re very patient.”

“Because I know you need it.”

You consider your response, you want to ask him about it, but is it too soon to reveal your concerns?

“Does it bother you that I do?” Your voice wobbles in the middle and you hate yourself for it.

“That you need patience? Not at all. Everyone has different needs. Why shouldn’t yours be catered to?”

You swallow that sentiment, you hold it tight in your belly and you keep it there, you keep the feeling, the comfort, the perfection of this moment.

“Thank you. I...I don’t know how else to say that.”

He chuckles, and you picture his face again. You picture the way he bites his lower lip after laughing, how his eyes crinkle, how his chest puffs and you’re certain it rumbles when he laughs. You want to be able to be close to him. You want to push your boundaries and your fears and you don’t know how to tell him that and you can’t just say it. So you laugh too. And you tell him you’re excited to see him. And he’s excited to see you. And you end your night with his voice at home in your chest and a smile at every word he’s left you there.

**********

Somehow, even when he’s nervous(or says he is), Gabriel looks so in control. He hasn’t spotted you yet, so you drink him in; though you can read his nervousness, his outfit is so much more relaxed than when you first met. His button down is open to the third button and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his hair is tousled, and his lips are curved in the smallest smirk as he spots you. You fret for a moment; is your outfit okay? Is your hair still in place? Will he like how you look? Will he hug you?

He pushes himself away from the wall, and smiles as you walk toward him.

“You look gorgeous.” And you know he means it.

“Thank you, uh, you too!” you can feel the blush start already.

“Can I hug you or would you prefer something a little less...full on?”

“Maybe like a...half one?” You fret that you make no sense, but he nods and wraps one arm around your shoulders and gives you a little squeeze.

He speaks against your hair, “I figured it would be pretty quiet here, is it okay?”

Before you is an art gallery, one with which you aren’t too familiar, but excitement bubbles in you.

“It’s perfect!”

He beams at you, and you note how much his eyes light up when he smiles.

“Then we won’t delay any longer.”

He starts to offer a hand but changes his mind. But you wanted it. You like when Gabriel touches you, just the little things, they’re so comforting with him. So instead, you hold his elbow, and though he hides it, you can see that he’s delighted for that much.  
Inside, the crowds gather around certain pieces, and Gabriel glances at you; a question of where to start. But just wandering works, and slowly, you make your way through the gallery. You don’t talk much, but still, you hold his elbow as you walk, and it feels natural and safe. You stop at each piece, sometimes offering a few words or thoughts, and Gabriel does the same. But one piece in particular catches your eye.   
You stare in awe, you take in every detail and every colour on the canvas. The swirls are so ethereal and magical, the colours are homely, the short strokes make it feel like fragments of eternity have been placed onto this one canvas. It’s enrapturing, and the world around you fades to nothing.  
In the corner of your eye, you see Gabriel, and you look over at him to see where he’s looking, but your eyes meet instead. You nudge him playfully.

“Gabriel, look at the art.”

“But I’ve already seen my favourite masterpiece.”

********** 

Your date ends as the sun begins to set, and outside the gallery, you find yourself less willing to leave. And you find courage seeping into your veins.

“Thank you for a wonderful day, Gabriel.”

He smiles, and cautiously takes your hand. With a glance that looks for permission, and your nod in return, he kisses your knuckles.

“I would be glad for a million more of them.”

You bite your lip to steady yourself and you step toward him. Your hand stays in his, but your other arm wraps around his shoulders in an awkward hug.

“Do you mind if I…”

“Go ahead.”

He wraps his arms around your waist. The feeling overwhelms you and your chest feels like a swelling balloon, but it’s not bad. It’s perfect.

**********

It’s been three weeks since your first date with Gabriel, and tonight you sit on his couch for a movie night. It’s still early evening and the sky is a smudged stained glass window of blues and pinks and purples. You feel comfortable here. Your shoulder is an inch away from Gabriel’s face as he slouches into the couch and you hold his hand with perhaps too much care. Small lines are crossed every time you see him; a hug, an arm around the shoulder, hands entwined. The list grows. Tonight, you stretch the arm of your free hand above your head. It’s early, yes, but exhaustion has kicked in after the week.

“I’m gonna head home.”

This is the hard part; for a man so independent and tough looking, Gabriel is a sweetheart, and he can be a little clingy. He gives you his saddest puppy eyes and you laugh at him.

“You can stay here you know. There’s a spare room.”

You shuffle a little.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, you’re always welcome here.”

Insecurity rears its head in you again and you bite your lip to hold back your upset.

“Are you really okay with how little I can touch you?”

“Always. Being around you, being with you, those matter to me. If you ever change your mind about how you touch me, great, but I will never hold your boundaries against you.”

“You’re incredibly understanding.”

“I know it helps you. I love having you around. I love that you want to be around me.”

You turn, maybe awkwardly, and cup his face. Your brush your thumb over his cheek, and you can feel his breath on your wrist. You can see how much he savours the contact, and with a deep breath and full fear, you lean in. You press your lips to his so gently, and he doesn’t move. He doesn’t force it further, he lets it end when you need. When you part, his eyes linger on your lips.

“Sorry, I should have said something first.”

“No, that was perfect,” he licks his lips, meets your eyes, and smiles, “does that mean you’re staying?”

**********

Staying with Gabriel has advantages. It is wonderful to be around someone so kind and understanding. He still didn’t seek out your touch; he accepts when you invite, and only on the hardest days would he ask for it. It becomes familiar over months, and most nights are spent with him, whether in your house or his. Today, you find yourself clinging to him a little, and while he enjoys it, you can see he’s worried.

“Are you really that worried about tonight?” There’s concern in his features but you stay clinging to his arm.

“Is it obvious?”

“Only a little.” He leans in and you nod to accept the kiss on your cheek.

“I’ve never brought anyone with me to meet them before. It’s just...new.”

“I’m sure it will be fine, I promise, I’m good with family.” He straightens himself and tries to keep a straight face but you collapse into giggles together. Tonight would be fine.

**********

Gabriel was right; he’s good with family.

You feel safer, more comfortable with him here. You hold his hand as your mother shares stories, your father cracks jokes, your aunts and uncles ask when they’ll see a ring. He breezes through it all, answers it all with a confident smile but pure sincerity. A sincerity that has your stomach aflutter with the thought of a ring from him. As he bounces another witty joke off of your father, whose laughter fills the room, your mother leans in close to your ear.

“It’s about time you brought someone home to us.”

Your stomach threatens to fall from a cliff but you maintain your composure.

“Just took some time to find someone right for me.”

“I always worried you wouldn’t, you know. You’re so awkward, I’ve never even seen you touch another person. I never thought anyone would put up with that. Do try to keep this one around, I doubt anyone else would have the patience.”

Your stomach takes the leap.

Your head spirals.

Your eyes land on the floor and stay there until it’s time to leave.

_I never thought anyone would put up with that._

_I doubt anyone else would have the patience._

The words replay over and over.

In a few hours, you take your leave. Her words are still there. You hug your parents, but again your mother whispers; “Be sure to bring him back.”

By the time you’re home, you’re completely silent. Gabriel notices but doesn’t push.

You haven’t held his hand since you spoke to your mother.

Even as you get ready for bed, as you slip in beside him, as he says goodnight, you don’t let him touch you. He understands. He wants to help, you know he does, but he doesn’t know what to do.

********** 

The next day is much the same. That hurt lingers in your belly and you can feel it rotting.

You know you’re isolating yourself, you know it’s a bad idea, you know this is what will make him leave. You stick around the house for the day and Gabriel keeps his distance. You cannot focus on anything, and the day turns into something of a loss. You find yourself staring out the window at lunchtime, consumed by your fears running circles in your mind.

A shift in the space beside you.

“I made lunch. I was thinking we can watch a movie after?”

You nod and force a smile. His own smile is not real. The sadness in it is your fault, you’re certain. Dread weights in you and you try to fix it, but you can see the end.  
One movie turns into two, two turns into four, and before long it’s a marathon with some forcing small snorts of laughter from you both and others that make you jump. The sky darkens, and you both stretch. Doing so little has exhausted you. But you wanted to be with him, even if your mother’s words were still burned into your brain. He yawns and checks the time, and you fear he’s going to leave and this will be the last night of movies.

“We should go to bed.”

You nod and stand with him.

Still you keep your distance. He doesn’t try to touch you. He doesn’t suggest. He doesn’t ask.  
You know it’s because he knows you need space, but some other part of you convinces you otherwise. This might be your last chance.  
In bed, you struggle to get comfortable and for just one fleeting moment, you wonder if being near him would help. You reach out and squeeze his hand and he squeezes back. But your mother’s words come again and you let go.  
Hours pass, his snores are soft beside you, but sleep won’t come. You sit up, careful not to wake him, and you breathe.  
Through the open window, you can smell the night air but it’s not enough to calm you, it’s not enough to relax your heartbeat, it’s not enough to quiet your memories.  
You glance at Gabriel, still breathing deep beside you.

“How do you do this?”

The words are a breath more than a whisper.

“How can you put up with me being like this? I can’t give you what you want, I can’t let that wall down, I thought I could but I can’t. How long can your patience last before this is too much?”

Tears slip down your cheeks.

“I love you so much, I adore you, I want this forever, but can you wait that long when I can’t show you the way you want to show me?”

He shifts beside you and you try to lay down, but there’s something in your way; an arm. Gabriel’s. It wraps around your shoulder, pulls you closer to him.  
Your body tells you to run, it tells you to hide from all of this, what if he heard, what if he’s about to reply, what if-

“I’m sorry, but I’m not letting you run away from me right now. We’re going to talk about this. Did you mean what you said?”

“Yes” It’s quiet as a prayer.

“I won’t hurt you. I won’t leave you. I won’t get sick of you. My love, I spend every hour I can with you. I love you more than I can bear to tell you. This distance we have is necessary, it’s why you’re comfortable with me, and that’s what matters. I know you’re afraid, but I would never do anything to hurt you. Even if it takes forever before you kiss or hug me again, I will wait because I love you so damn much.You think I can’t wait or that I can’t love you like this, but you are amazing. Inside and out, I am constantly in awe of you. You make me smile when things are darker than they’ve ever been, and I want to do that for you. Believe me; I will always want you all to myself.” 

You fall against him, cuddle into his chest, and you let him kiss your head. It’s a lot. It’s almost overwhelming, but you fight through it. You tangle with him, and you nod, over and over, so he’ll keep holding you, keep touching you, keep you.

You wake in the morning, legs entwined, skin to skin, no barrier.  
It won’t always be like this, you know it, and Gabriel knows it. Your walls are still needed, but now they’ve been changed for screens. They can be moved and changed, but only by those who know their worth, who know to be delicate. And Gabriel knows better than anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my work! For updates, commission info, giveaway info, and general thought process, join me!  
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